Thursday, December 17, 2009

The First 3 Weeks of Motherhood

I am still up as I am waiting for my son to go to sleep. Tonight is the first time since he was days old that he won't sleep and won't stop crying. I brought him into our bed and he was asleep in minutes but when I put him in his crib, he was wide awake and crying. After letting him cry for 30 minutes, I realized he wouldn't stop so tried feeding him again and he was out. Hopefully he will stay asleep. I think maybe he knows it's his 3 week birthday since I mentioned it all day long ad he doesn't want to be alone in his crib on such a big day. :) Likely not, but it's a nice thought.
I have absolutely enjoyed motherhood, even more than I ever dreamed I would. Superman and I have settled into so easily and little A is such a great baby that he makes it easier. We sleep 3-4 hour stretches between feedings at night and he sleeps a lot during the day as well. It is so amazing to watch him with his little expressions. Most of the time he looks serious, surprised or worried. Sometimes I can't help but wonder if he is already aware of the world's problems and is worried. Maybe he is calculating solutions and will someday be the U.S. president. It could also be gas.
His baby sounds melt my heart into pieces. When he sleeps, he has this adorable wheezing sound that makes me think he is attempting to snore. At least this sound is far more adorable than Superman's snoring. A's little coos and sighs and lip smacking are more than I can take.
Each day goes by and I watch him grow bigger and bigger, and I get sad since he started out big. He was 8 pounds, 12 ounces and 21 inches. The doctor told me babies don't get bigger than 21 inches, which made me proud. I birthed the biggest baby in the hospital the day he was born, and I am proud of those bragging rights. Since this was my first child, I was even more proud.
The labor was so much easier than I ever thought it would be. I was a tad nervous since I was induced and had heard it was so much more painful than going into labor naturally. I was able to convince my doctor to induce me 5 days past my due date, as he was going to induce me at 7 days past anyways. 24 hours after the induction started, A was born, one and a half hours before Thanksgiving Day.
When they placed A o my chest just after he was born, I was so overcome with emotion and happiness. I realized at that exact moment there is no greater feeling than greeting your child when they have entered this world. Seeing him so blue and tiny (I thought at the moment) and helpless made my heart overflow with love. He was looking around from the moment he was born and is still very alert to this day. While my labor was not particularly painful thanks to the epidural, I forgot about everything the moment I laid eyes on him. I remember looking at Superman so I could see him looking at our son for the first time as well. I was crying and he was too and so was little A. We were a family of crybabies at that moment, and I sure do strongly dislike crying. It's right up there with vomiting. The two are neck and neck for one of the top spots of my dislike. But little A's birth was worth all the tears and more.
I wrote a four page letter to A when he was a week old. I wanted to tell him all of the things that I felt when I saw him and I wanted to tell him alll about his birth and the emotions his daddy and I felt before I forgot most of them. I wanted him to know that his daddy was by my side the entire time, anxiously awaiting his arrival. I wanted him to know how happy he has made us and how much more in love his father and I are. We have found such a deep love and respect for each other on a level I never knew existed. I wanted A to know how we felt when we first saw him. Mostly I wanted to remind my son how much we loved him right from the start.
I look forward to all of the firsts that will be to come with A. I look forward to bringing siblings for him to grow up with. I am excited about teaching him about God and giving him a religious background. I anticipate celebrating milestones with him every step of his life. Mostly I can't wait to embrace the person he will become and watch him leave his mark on this world, no matter how big or small that mark is.
I love you A more than you will ever know.

Your Mommy