LA Shoot

I attended my first shootout on 2-28-10. It took place at Snow Creek Park in Diamond Bar, CA. There were lots of awesome models and other photographers. This was my first venture into photography and I am so happy that I was able to be a part of this event. I got some photos that I am very happy with to kick start my portfolio. I look forward to attending future events and improving my photographer skills. I have included some photos from my shoot to indicate to demonstrate how much fun that it was. I an really excited to shoot my first newborn session next month. I hope to be able to share some great photos then as well.

Thanks to: Models: Megan Bibbo Lindsey Cloud Devon Ligus Kirstine Caluya Dean Karasinski Shannon Bratton and a special appearance with her two little ones. Special Guests - Miss Diamond Bar 2009 - Chelsea Tadros Miss Diamond Bar Princess - Jackie Abad and Tiffany Cheng!! Hair and Makeup: Michelle Cheng

Inappropriate Laughter

So I have this problem with laughing at all the wrong times. I was recently told by someone that it is called inappropriate laughter. I have thought about this a lot since then and I completely agree with that label. I laugh at the most inappropriate things, yet have a hard time laughing at things that most people find funny. It is as if there is a problem with the wiring in my brain, which is quite possible but I digress.

This is a problem because every time, and I am not exaggerating at all about this, that my hubby injures himself, I crack up hysterically. In fact, I am laughing now while I am thinking about it. I don't know why this is and the harder that I try not to laugh, the harder I laugh. It gets to the point where I am purple in the face from lack of oxygen because I am laughing so hard I can't breathe. Tears stream out of my eyes and down my cheeks, my stomach hurts so hard from laughing and I feel like I am going to pee my pants.

Here are some recent examples where this has come into play:

- I warmed up some broccoli and cheddar rice for dinner in the microwave. Microwaves do not heat food evenly. My hubby heated the rice for 5 minutes. I felt the rice and thought it was still somewhat cold, so heated food for an additional 3 minutes, unbeknownst to my hubby. I stir the food but he somehow managed to take a sample bite from the hottest portion of the food. This causes the food to burn his tongue, mouth throat and all the areas the food touched until it reached his stomach. His mouth was not feeling too great and I laughed hysterically for over 15 minutes and cracked up randomly throughout the night when I looked at him which gave him a complex for awhile.

-My husband was walking through the kitchen and he accidentally kicked a chair and he broke his pinky toe. I laughed hysterically about this. My husband works in construction which also causes him to be randomly hurt. Over the course of the five days following my husband breaking his little toe, he had a 90 pound jackhammer dropped on the broken baby toe, he whacked himself in the shin with a sledgehammer that actually messed him up pretty good, and was hit by a truck on the jobsite while the driver was backing up. Thank goodness he was not injured when he was hit, the driver was backing slowly and he realized her was about to be hit so rolled forward as soon as he felt the impact. As I recounted the stories of his injuries to the ladies at the stables where we board our horse, I laughed so hard I could hardly get the words out.

-In the past week, my husband has kicked the area where the tile starts in our bathroom and the carpet from the hallway meet. One night I heard a loud thud come from the bathroom and figured my husband must have hit himself on something or had dropped something. After a couple of times of me asking if he was okay, and not getting a response, I rushed to the bathroom to see what was wrong. I saw my husband laying on the ground and when he told me he was okay, I started cracking up. We thought he had broken his other baby toe and I felt terrible for him, even though I was laughing. A few nights later, I heard the sound of his foot once again connecting with some hard object in the bathroom and I laugh so hard I can hardly ask if he is okay. His response to my behavior was to go into the bedroom and shut the door without responding to my ridiculousness.

Here is the problem. I laugh before I can ask if he's okay and most of the time I am laughing so hard I can't even get the question out. I don't understand why this behavior occurs. I don't think it is funny when my husband injures himself. I was really worried when he told me about the vehicle that hit him. I don't like to cry and in the past I have noticed that when I am under stress or feel like I am going to cry, I will laugh to avoid crying. I don't know if it is the same in these situations, but I feel terrible about my behavior. I know that my husband is aware that I don't mean to laugh. He knows that when my laughter is under control, I will make sure that he is fine. Most of the time he ends up laughing with me though.

I worry that I will react in this same manner when my baby boy starts to grow bigger. I worry that I will be at a park or in a public place with many other parents and my boy will injure himself and I will laugh when he tells me what happened. I am worried that the other parents will think that I am a terrible mother and think that I don't care about my child. While this could not be further from the truth, I really hope that I can get this inappropriate laughter under control.

I don't like it when I laugh at my husbands injuries, and would feel terrible if he reacted the same way when I hurt myself. Thank goodness my husband is more mature than I am in these types of situations and can keep his composure. Thankfully my husband understands that I have issues and still loves me. I just hope that he will be patient enough to handle this for the rest of our lives. Maybe he can learn to not injure himself and this would help to solve the problem. Hmm.

Six Weeks

My baby turned six weeks old this past Wednesday. I can't believe how fast the time has flown by. He is still such a great baby and I am loving spending all of the time I have been with him since I still have not returned to work. A smiles on a daily basis now and I personally think he has the cutest smile. I captured a great photo of him on my phone the other night and sent it out to family and it is now everyone's screensaver on their phones. It helps to cheer them up when they are sad or having a particularly stressful day at work. I'm sure I'll be using that very soon. Actually, I should maybe think of printing out a poster size picture to post on the wall of my cubicle everyday. Hmmm...

I enjoy watching A grow and see him learn to start controlling his movements. He already can pretty much support his head for the most part, though he still does have his bobblehead times so he isn't completely able to support his head just yet. His had eye coordination is coming along nicely. He has discovered that he can rub his eyes. In fact, he is apparently so happy with this development that he rubs his eyes continuously so that they are all red and swollen. I'm worried that eventually people will think that he has some disease or that we abuse him. I am sure that when he realizes his hands are great for many other things, the eye rubbing will eventually subside.

We got two kittens last week. It seemed like a great, innocent idea. I thought it would be so nice to get a baby animal that A can grow up with. I thought he might look back fondly on the cat when he is older and tell stories such as "remember when our cat Tux....." And A is growing so fast, even though he started out big, that I thought it would be nice to have small babies in the house to satiate my baby yearning. I don't want to go through the pregnancy/birthing process again this soon. A is already wearing 6 months clothes as he barely fits in 3 months clothes now. My sister-in-law's friend had a female cat that got out and apparently worked a corner. She birthed 9 kittens as payment for her services. We decided we would take one of then. When we got there, there were two left, one being the runt and we couldn't bear to separate them. So we have two new kittens. I am glad on the one hand that we got two kittens since they play great together, not so happy since they play ALL OF THE TIME. And they love the nursery. I can't keep them out of there and they wait outside the door for me to open it and they rush me and get past me into the nursery and then hide under furniture where I can't reach them. They are too smart.

I also have gotten back on my horse this week. We had a young leaser that was supposed to have taken lessons, and she only had 2 lessons at the very beginning of the lease. She had riding experience and her parents were supposed to supervise her while she rode. It didn't work out the way we had wanted, and the girl was a very timid rider. Now my horse thinks he can stop while being led back to his stall and stand there until he gets carrots, as this was what the girl did. He also isn't quite as responsive and doesn't like to back. So we have some work ahead of us. It felt so great to be back on my horse though and I am excited about riding again.

Here is a picture to end with and that will surely put a smile on your face:

Histrionics

Irresponsible people make me sad and frustrated. People who don't hold up their end of the deal and put other peoples safety at risk. People who are not truthful or don't like too divulge "too much" information (aka liars) which actually would make a huge difference in decisions that are being made. Withholding important information or all of the facts is still lying.

I also really dislike psychotic people. Driving three hours to confront someone without a warning when I don't know you is crazy. Now I can't sleep at nights and this makes me a grumpy person.

Warm Fuzzies

Having a wonderful husband who can make me laugh now matter how overwhelmed I feel and who never forgets to show me how much me loves me. Having such a supportive partner in this life makes me happy. I heart my hubby!!

New Year, Blah, Blah, Blah

So it's 2010. I don't believe in resolutions, because frankly, I just don't ever resolve my resolutions so I don't even try now. I did get a good idea that I think my husband and I will do each year as a new tradition. Instead of making resolutions, we will be writing a prayer together. It won't be anything specific, just more of a letter to God and asking him to help us through this new year as he has done throughout our lives. We have gone through lots of changes over the past 6 months so asking for a little help from God as we finish settling onto these new paths seems logical.

My little baby is almost six weeks old already and he is growing way too fast. He is already 23 inches, he's grown two whole inches in 5 weeks. He doesn't look like a newborn at all, most people think he looks between 4-5 months. My body however still looks like I gave birth a week ago. I sure wish my body would shrink as fast as the little boy is growing. He is smiling a lot and I am loving being home with him. We got two little kittens over the weekend so he has some animals that he can grow with.

The husband and I will be taking some courses this semester. I am going to try pursuing becoming a CPA and the husband will be taking some classes to help him out more with the construction as he pursues getting his contractor's license this spring. I am also looking forward to taking some photography lessons to help me develop my photo taking skills. I am very excited.

I am also looking forward to riding my horse again. The last time I rode was a brief cool down when I was six months pregnant. It has been so long, I just hope that I can remember how to ride. More than that, I hope I can still show my horse who is the boss and regain our bond. He has some issues that he has developed while a leaser was riding him. She let him get away with everything, so we have some bad habits he's developed that now need to be dealt with.

There is so much going on over the next year and I look forward to all of the milestones that we will reach. I look forward to growing a closer realationship with God and learning more about my new faith as a Lutheran. I look forward to meeting and making new friends that share the same values as my husband and I. Mostly, I look forward to another year of love and laughter and adventure with my husband.

The First 3 Weeks of Motherhood

I am still up as I am waiting for my son to go to sleep. Tonight is the first time since he was days old that he won't sleep and won't stop crying. I brought him into our bed and he was asleep in minutes but when I put him in his crib, he was wide awake and crying. After letting him cry for 30 minutes, I realized he wouldn't stop so tried feeding him again and he was out. Hopefully he will stay asleep. I think maybe he knows it's his 3 week birthday since I mentioned it all day long ad he doesn't want to be alone in his crib on such a big day. :) Likely not, but it's a nice thought.

I have absolutely enjoyed motherhood, even more than I ever dreamed I would. Superman and I have settled into so easily and little A is such a great baby that he makes it easier. We sleep 3-4 hour stretches between feedings at night and he sleeps a lot during the day as well. It is so amazing to watch him with his little expressions. Most of the time he looks serious, surprised or worried. Sometimes I can't help but wonder if he is already aware of the world's problems and is worried. Maybe he is calculating solutions and will someday be the U.S. president. It could also be gas.

His baby sounds melt my heart into pieces. When he sleeps, he has this adorable wheezing sound that makes me think he is attempting to snore. At least this sound is far more adorable than Superman's snoring. A's little coos and sighs and lip smacking are more than I can take.

Each day goes by and I watch him grow bigger and bigger, and I get sad since he started out big. He was 8 pounds, 12 ounces and 21 inches. The doctor told me babies don't get bigger than 21 inches, which made me proud. I birthed the biggest baby in the hospital the day he was born, and I am proud of those bragging rights. Since this was my first child, I was even more proud.

The labor was so much easier than I ever thought it would be. I was a tad nervous since I was induced and had heard it was so much more painful than going into labor naturally. I was able to convince my doctor to induce me 5 days past my due date, as he was going to induce me at 7 days past anyways. 24 hours after the induction started, A was born, one and a half hours before Thanksgiving Day.

When they placed A o my chest just after he was born, I was so overcome with emotion and happiness. I realized at that exact moment there is no greater feeling than greeting your child when they have entered this world. Seeing him so blue and tiny (I thought at the moment) and helpless made my heart overflow with love. He was looking around from the moment he was born and is still very alert to this day. While my labor was not particularly painful thanks to the epidural, I forgot about everything the moment I laid eyes on him. I remember looking at Superman so I could see him looking at our son for the first time as well. I was crying and he was too and so was little A. We were a family of crybabies at that moment, and I sure do strongly dislike crying. It's right up there with vomiting. The two are neck and neck for one of the top spots of my dislike. But little A's birth was worth all the tears and more.

I wrote a four page letter to A when he was a week old. I wanted to tell him all of the things that I felt when I saw him and I wanted to tell him alll about his birth and the emotions his daddy and I felt before I forgot most of them. I wanted him to know that his daddy was by my side the entire time, anxiously awaiting his arrival. I wanted him to know how happy he has made us and how much more in love his father and I are. We have found such a deep love and respect for each other on a level I never knew existed. I wanted A to know how we felt when we first saw him. Mostly I wanted to remind my son how much we loved him right from the start.

I look forward to all of the firsts that will be to come with A. I look forward to bringing siblings for him to grow up with. I am excited about teaching him about God and giving him a religious background. I anticipate celebrating milestones with him every step of his life. Mostly I can't wait to embrace the person he will become and watch him leave his mark on this world, no matter how big or small that mark is.

I love you A more than you will ever know.

Love,

Your Mommy